#1 Person Holding You Back

by Daryl Daughtry, Publisher

– Listen to article here.

Do you know the number one person holding you back?

Do you feel stuck in any area of your life? Do you feel that regardless of how hard you try, things never seem to change? Have you had this one dream in your life that somehow always escapes your grasp? Do you believe that you are capable of something more but you feel mediocre? Do you feel like you’re just another face in the crowd and not living up to your fullest potential?

Well, if any of these questions apply to you, welcome to the club. All of us at some point, feel those things. And unfortunately, we get stuck because we don’t face one of the harshest realities we can ever become aware of. What is it? I’m talking about the person that’s holding you back. That’s right. There is a person in this world who is preventing you from being completely happy, fulfilled, effective, and powerful.

This person constantly gets in the way when it comes to any form of success in your life. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your relationships, finances, education, or your career. This person is there right when you’re just about to have a milestone. This individual drags you back, holds you down, and keeps you miserable and frustrated.

Do you want to know who that person is? You’re probably upset at this moment. You probably want to give that person a piece of your mind. You probably might even want to beat that person up. Believe me, I understand where you’re coming from. But here’s the problem. That person is you, yes YOU. The only person in this world who can force you to live a life of mediocrity, struggle, frustration, and fear spells his or her name this way: Y-O-U. There’s nobody else to blame.

It is not the abuse you had as a child. Nor is it the traumatic experience you had in your junior high school gym locker. The oppressive boss that made you feel like an idiot. It’s not him. Your mother who constantly nags you or insults you. It’s not her either. It’s definitely not your partner. It’s you. Because you have to understand that nobody can make you feel small, powerless, weak, and mediocre without your permission. The world will not have an effect on you if you don’t let it in.

The world is not going to force you to feel powerless if you don’t interpret its feedback in that way. It all goes back to you. A lot of people are uncomfortable with this reality and that’s why they come up with excuse after excuse to get out from this thinking. Here’s the thing. You need to step up and realize that you are giving yourself all these excuses to avoid putting in the work to reach grand success. Until you do that, you will only feel small.

You will continue to struggle when it comes to paying the rent. You will continue to have one miscommunication after another with your loved ones. You will often find yourself misunderstood in the process. That is why you have to step up. You have to slay that dragon of self-deception and all those internal illusions that you have chosen to believe in all these years. This is the real story of your life. Because nobody can hold you back without your permission.

What if I told you your mental habits dictate everything about you and are holding you back?

What if I told you that everything about you comes from your thoughts? You probably would think I’m crazy. You would probably ask what your haircut, choice of clothing, car, neighborhood, and body shape have anything to do with your thoughts. It’s too comforting to believe that the amount of money you make, how happy or unhappy you are, and your physical appearance are all products of forces beyond your control.

Maybe it’s your parents. Maybe it’s the abuse you suffered from as a child. Maybe it’s due to the fact that you come from a different country. You don’t speak the language. Maybe it’s because you suffered discrimination and prejudice early on. Well, the list is actually quite long. But the problem is, if we are all completely honest with ourselves, none of these explain our lives.

What if I told you that there are people with no limbs who are able to surf and swim? What if I told you that there are blind people who can fly planes? So it’s neither the physical limitation nor is it low IQ. Instead, it is our mental habits that decide what we think we’re capable of. People put themselves in neat little boxes and inside this box, is the reality they allow themselves to live. It houses the list of things that they’re able to do. Outside of this box, you have the off-limit items.

These are the things they feel that they cannot do. These are the identities they feel do not belong to them. Well, this is all artificial. This is all a choice. Make no mistake, your mind dictates how happy or content you are and most importantly, how powerful you are in your life. And unfortunately, it’s too easy to develop mental habits that make us feel small, insignificant, and voiceless. We dismiss ourselves continuously as just another face in the crowd.

Talk about being sad and pathetic. It is unfortunate that this is the reality most people live. What if I told you that you have what it takes to become the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates? You probably would laugh. You might even call me crazy. But the truth is, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have two eyes, two legs, two arms just like you. In terms of hardware, you’re exactly the same. Maybe their skin color is different. Maybe they speak a different language than you.

But you can learn the language as well. The big difference between people is not hardware. The big difference is software, mental software that is. If you have the mental habit of pushing you to become the very best you can, and you cannot take no for an answer, the world then opens up to you.

As the old saying goes, people who say they cannot do it should not interrupt other people doing it. I want you to understand the power of mental habits in your life and mark the ones you have. Whatever frustration you have, whatever struggles you’re going through, they can all be traced to your mental habits. Change them and you change your life.