Be Proud Of What You DIDN’T Do
by Daryl Daughtry, Publisher
You should be just as proud of the bad things you HAVEN’T done as you are the good things that you HAVE done. You are defined just as much by what you say “No” to as what you say “Yes” to. Self-discipline or self-control should be a meaningful badge of honor in your life. So, give yourself some massive credit.
Think of all the times you have shopped in store after store and didn’t shoplift, then pat yourself on the back. Think of all the times that you obeyed traffic signals and signs, then say to yourself, “Well done.” Think of all the negative or nasty thoughts you have had in your head that never came out of your mouth, then be very proud.
I once heard a national news broadcast lamenting over how many people are in jails and prisons. Let me tell you something, I am more shocked at how many people aren’t in jails and prisons. There are billions of people who have the self-control to stay out of legal trouble. Focus on that.
In a world that often glorifies success and vilifies failure, it can be refreshing – even empowering – to take a moment to reflect on the potential missteps you’ve avoided.
It’s easy to become fixated on your accomplishments, the accolades you’ve earned, or the goals you’ve achieved. However, it’s equally important to acknowledge the ‘bad things’ you didn’t do — those choices that could have led you astray but didn’t. There is value in recognizing and being proud of the negative paths you consciously sidestepped in your life.
The Spectrum of Choices
Life is a series of choices, and each one shapes who you are. These choices exist on a spectrum from positive to negative. While your achievements can certainly define your personal narrative, so too can the choices you didn’t make. Choosing not to engage in bad behavior, deviate from personal values, or partake in actions that could harm you or others signals a deep personal strength. It reflects an understanding of your values and ethics, illustrating strong self-awareness and control.
The Cost of Bad Decisions
Consider the various temptations and pressures you face throughout life — from peer pressure in your formative years to the subtle societal norms you encounter as an adult. I’m certain you’ve faced such crossroads as the allure of risky behavior, dishonesty for personal gain, or even the temptation to live a lie. Choosing a path of integrity or restraint in such moments can be incredibly challenging. They can also be incredibly rewarding.
Being proud of the bad things you didn’t do reflects an understanding of the potential consequences of those decisions. Engaging in a crime or some type of dishonest behavior may offer temporary gratification, but it often leads to negative repercussions.
Building Character
How you respond to temptation or adversity often serves as a litmus test for your character. The strength to turn away from harmful behavior can anchor your identity, providing a sense of stability even in chaotic environments. By recognizing the moments in which you opted for the high road, you can cultivate a greater sense of gratitude for your current circumstances.
The Role of Reflection
While you often acknowledge the mistakes you’ve made, it’s equally important to reflect on what you’ve steered clear of doing. They say hindsight is 20/20, but what if it allows you to understand your strength more clearly? Reflecting on instances where you chose to refrain from negative actions can transform how you perceive your past. By recognizing the near misses in your life, you can appreciate the lessons learned and the character you’ve developed.
Sometimes, the most important lessons come not from your mistakes, but from the moments where you could have chosen bad behavior, but didn’t.
Gaining Perspective
Moreover, the acknowledgment of bad things you didn’t do can provide a unique perspective on your life. Recognizing resisted temptations allows you to understand your psychological makeup. It sheds light on your values and encourages you to uphold those values moving forward.
Inspiration for Others
Choosing not to participate in negative behavior can also inspire others. Being proud of the things you’ve avoided can position you as a beacon of hope for those struggling with similar temptations. Sharing stories of restraint or the reasoning behind your choices can motivate others to reflect on their own paths. They can find strength in your example and choose a similar route for themselves.
In a society that promotes risk-taking and unabashed self-indulgence, your choices can stand out in stark contrast as a shining light of integrity.
Life isn’t merely a series of triumphs, awards, and successes — it’s also about the choices you make and those you don’t. While society often celebrates the triumph of achieving success, recognizing the bad things you didn’t do can also foster a profound sense of pride and accomplishment. It serves as an acknowledgment of the conscious choices you’ve made that showcase your strength of character, your ethical values, and the resilience that defines who you are.
Being proud of what you haven’t done can encourage you to be more intentional in your actions moving forward. Each positive decision becomes a building block for your identity and offers hope for not just yourself, but for the collective journey we undertake as humans. Embracing this perspective allows you to reframe your narrative, appreciating the strength to say ‘no’ and standing firm in your values while navigating the complexities of life.
So, celebrate those choices as they are just as impactful, if not more so, than the road you choose to travel.
